Walk me through the timeline of your decision not to have children. When did you first have the thought, how did it evolve, and when did it become something you felt certain about?

I always thought it would be best to not have children however most of the partners I’ve had have wanted children so I just thought that I might one day but didn’t want to make plans to. I got out of a bad relationship in my late 30s I thought I’ve stayed child free this long. I will definitely stick by this decision for Good now.

What reasons, considerations, or realizations were most important in shaping your decision not to have children?

I have always thought that if I had of been given the choice I would never have chosen to be born. Given that I feel this way it would be unethical for me to have a child. I also suffer from depression. Anxiety have had substance abuse in my past and I would never want to pass that down to a child. I also do not own my own home and don’t earn a lot of money.

Has your certainty about being childfree ever wavered? What brought on those doubts, and how did you navigate them?

Yes when I was married my husband was wealthy and had a very supportive family so I did consider having a child then because I knew it would grow up with financial resources and I would have the help of his supportive family. We didn’t have a great relationship though because he was Abusive so that kind of outweigh the benefits and I didn’t want my children to grow up in a broken household

Do you think of being childfree as part of your identity, or more as a personal choice? Why?

I would say it is a little bit of both. I believe that people who choose to be child free have great values and morals so I enjoy having that as part of my identity

Tell me about the language you use around not having children. Does “childfree” feel like the right fit, or do you prefer different terms?

Yes, I like using child free because it implies I have a choice which I do. Using the term childless would imply that the reason why I don’t have children is because I can’t have them and that is not the case with me

How, if at all, does being childfree reflect your values or priorities?

It sure does because I value not causing another cent and being suffering and I believe that having a child would impose suffering on another human being.

What does a meaningful, well-lived life look like to you?

Being a good person being kind to others having a lot of different experiences in life not being afraid to Try new things. Giving back to the community

What does the idea of legacy mean to you, if anything?

To me, it means being remembered for something important after you die.

Has being childfree been a process of self-discovery for you? If so, in what ways?

Not sure

How, if at all, have different aspects of your identity (such as your gender, race or ethnicity, age, religion or spirituality, sexuality, socioeconomic background, disability, neurodivergence, or where you live) shaped your experience of being childfree?

For me not being wealthy as well as being Neurodivergent and suffering from substance abuse in the past has shaped my experience because people don’t try to talk me into having a child they can see it’s clear that it would not be a good idea for me to be a mother. I think other woman who don’t struggle with these types of things society tries to pressure them more to pet children.

How does being childfree shape your everyday life? This might include your routines, priorities, flexibility, freedom, or how you spend your time and energy.

I try to live my life as stressfree as possible. My priority is myself and my dog and I have the freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want.

How has being childfree shaped your financial decisions or relationship with money? This might include saving, spending, financial independence, or how you think about your finances differently than if you’d had children.

I would be even more poor if I had of Had children

What role, if any, do pets or animals play in your childfree life? How do you feel about terms like “pet parent” or “fur baby”?

I love these terms. My dog is totally spoilt like a baby.

How has being childfree influenced the career choices you’ve made, if at all? This might include the jobs you’ve pursued, the risks you’ve taken, how you’ve structured your work life, or how you think about work-life balance.

When I was in addiction, I was a sex worker which I would not have done if I was a parent

Overall, do you see being childfree as a professional advantage, disadvantage, both, or neither?

I see it as an advantage because I’m not having to take time off all the time for a sick child

Has contraception or sterilization been part of your journey? If so, what has that experience been like?

Yes, I have often been on contraception

What’s your current relationship status, and how does being childfree factor into it?

I am currently single

Do your family members know about your decision not to have children? Walk me through those conversations. How did different people respond? Where do things stand now? If there are people you haven’t told, what influenced that decision?

My family have always been very happy that I decided to be childfree as they know that I would be an unfit mother

How, if at all, has being childfree played out in your friendships? This might include how friends have reacted to your decision, friendships with parents, or anything else that feels relevant.

In my 20s and 30s, I would normally distance myself from people who had kids because it changes a woman and I usually don’t like the change.

What’s your experience with the childfree community? If you’ve found one, what has it meant to you?

It has been fantastic to normalise this lifestyle and reduce stigma and find like-minded woman

Outside of close friends and family, how open are you about being childfree? What influences whether you tell people?

I am very open because I’m proud

Childfree people often face recurring assumptions about their choice. Below are some of the most common. Feel free to respond to any that have come up in your experience, or that you simply have views on.

Being childfree is selfish.

Completely disagree with this statement there is nothing selfish about being childfree and everything selfish about choosing to have a child

You just haven’t met the right person yet.

Okay, whatever

You’ll change your mind.

Too late now I am too old

You’ll regret it one day.

Absolutely not

You hate kids.

Disagree

Your life lacks meaning or purpose.

Disagree

You’ll be lonely.

Possibly but I would rather be lonely than exhausted tired and broke and regretting my decision to have a kid

Who will take care of you when you’re older?

I don’t know, but I’m sure I will sort it out when the time happens considering I am a very independent strong woman

What are your thoughts on pronatalism?

I think it is disgusting

What are your thoughts on antinatalism?

I think it’s fantastic

Have you thought about planning for later life? This might include retirement, healthcare, housing, finances, support networks, emergency contacts, estate planning, or end-of-life preferences.

Yes, I do think about that often

Looking back on your childfree life so far, what has surprised you most? What did you not expect about how it would actually feel or unfold?

It feels better than I thought it would

Tell me about the joys of your childfree life. What are the things that make you grateful for your choice?

Being able to sleep in not having to tidy up after a child being able to go on holiday whenever I like being able to go out and date however I like being able to spend my money on myself

Do you have a message for childfree people?

You are awesome

How do you feel about your childfree life overall? What stands out when you look at the whole picture?

I feel proud of myself